Beholden Page 6

  “Julian,” he cut me off, his voice little more than a growl. I didn’t even try to stop the shudder. Wes obviously noticed, since his lips quirked. “You want me.”

  It wasn’t a question, but I answered anyway. “Yes.”

  He offered a small yet heated smile. “The sex was better than good. And way more than satisfying.”

  “Yes,” I repeated.

  He smirked and leaned back in the chair, lifting a leg to rest his ankle on the opposite knee, and crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re attracted to me. I’m attracted to you.”

  I sighed. “Yes.”

  “And right now, you need me to help you figure out what’s going on with your magic. You know I can. And you know I can keep you stable until we sort it out and fix it.”

  I wouldn’t repeat myself yet again, so gave a single nod.

  Wes’s features softened. His posture relaxed, and he pushed back from the desk. I somehow knew what he wanted, but it wasn’t until he raised his hand in invitation that I moved. I took hold of that hand, and he tugged and muscled me into his lap, my back pressed to his front, and his lips touching my ear.

  “So, we work together to figure this out. I can do that and my job, too, don’t worry about that.” He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me tight. His nipped my earlobe with his teeth, then kissed the hollow beneath my ear. “In the meantime, we have hot monkey sex.”

  The laugh burst out of my throat without my permission. “Just like that, huh?”

  “Why not?”

  I shrugged one shoulder. “It’s too fast. I’m not that guy.” My mouth seemed to speak before checking with my brain, and when my brain finally caught up, I felt myself blush to the roots of my hair. I cleared my throat. “I mean, not usually. And yeah, I know we already had sex once and everything, but I usually need to know a man a little better before I jump into bed with him. We hardly know each other.”

  His rich laughter rumbled through my back. “I wasn’t just talking about sex,” he said, nuzzling his nose against my neck. I nearly melted all over his lap. It took all of my will to remain upright.

  “Then it’s really too fast,” I said. I tried for conviction, but it sounded breathy.

  “One thing you’ll learn about me is that when I make up my mind, I go for it, full bore. I saw you, I wanted to be with you, and so I’m going to do everything in my power to make that happen.” Wes had no trouble sounding self-assured. He followed his proclamation by turning my head and capturing my lips, kissing me hard. It was wet and full of heat. I whimpered against his mouth, and tried to pull myself closer. He made a satisfied noise, and rearranged us, spinning me around until I straddled his thighs. He seemed to like me in that position. I had no objections.

  The kiss went on for several minutes, and I lost myself in it. I loved the feel of his mouth against mine, of his hands on my ass and in my hair, of his body pressed against me. When he gentled his assault, I whimpered at the loss. He gave a small laugh, and pulled back. He kept our faces close as he cradled my head in his hands.

  “I have work to do,” he whispered.

  “Me, too.”

  Wes nodded, licked his lips, and dove in for another short but passion-filled kiss. I panted when he pulled back. “Go get your stuff.”

  I couldn’t make my brain work. “Huh?”

  He grinned, and I gawked at the way it transformed his face. “Go get your things. You can work at Max’s desk until he drags his sorry ass back here.”

  I wrinkled my nose. “Too many electronics in here. It’s making me buzz. It’s like ants crawling on my skin.”

  Wes considered that. “All right. I need this electronic crap to get started. So we’ll have to be apart for a while. You go down to your office, and I’ll work here. Come back in a couple of hours so we can boost your power and energy.”

  I crawled off his lap, not exactly liking being dictated to. I took several steps, but kept my gaze firmly on his. “I’m sure I’ll be fine for longer than that. We’ll meet at the end of the day so you can augment my power enough for me to get home.”

  “Two hours,” he repeated, his tone brooking no disagreement.

  I bristled. “I’m not a child, Agent Caldwell. I can take care of myself. I’ll see you before I’m ready to leave for the day.”

  I made to turn away, but Wes grabbed my hand before I could get too far. He stood, using his extra few inches of height and width to intimidate me. It sort of worked, but I’d be damned if I let it show.

  “Stop,” he whispered, his tone once again at odds with his posture. “I don’t think you’re incapable of taking care of yourself. I think your magic is messed up and it’s messing with you. I want to take care of you, not because you need me to, but because I like doing it.”

  Aw, crap. All the fight went out of me because Wes had said all the right words. Damn him for having a soft center under the gruff exterior. It was my kryptonite. And whether he knew it or not, that was exactly the way to win me over.

  He must have seen it in my face, because he smiled. “Two hours, all right?”

  I nodded. Yeah, fine. We could meet up again in two hours if it would make him happy. A small sacrifice on my part.

  “Thank you. Now give me a kiss to tide me over, and then we’ll get to work.”

  I did as he asked.

  * * * *

  I didn’t accomplish much, and not because my power waned. I felt only slightly worse than I’d been in Wes’s presence. All that kissing must have really boosted my power. But I couldn’t get the man out of my head. He’d steamrolled right over me, insinuating himself like it was his right. It wasn’t how I normally operated. I needed to get to know a man before I let him in this far. But Wes didn’t seem to care about any of that. I should be disgruntled by the whole thing.

  It kind of pissed me off that I wasn’t.

  I didn’t know if it was because I found him so attractive, or because the sex had been so good, or even because our magic resonated with each other’s. But whatever the reason, I was actually pleased he was taking over, flattered he wanted to be with me. I felt cared for in a way I couldn’t remember feeling in a long time. Only I couldn’t trust that it was real, because I didn’t know him. Not really. What I did know of him, I liked. But that wasn’t enough.

  I’d been alone a long time. Yes, my sister was a part of my life. But she didn’t support my choices, and I always felt as though I had to keep things about myself from her. I had a few close friends I could rely on. But other than that, no one. I hadn’t been in a relationship for close to two years and he’d turned out to be a lying, cheating dog.

  Now that I had a bit of distance and could think clearly, I realized that had to be the reason I felt so drawn to Wes. I found him sexy as hell, he had a powerful personality, and my magic liked his. Those things combined meant I was drawn to him, and why I was so easily setting aside my standard operating procedure.

  Only, I knew it didn’t have to be that way. I couldn’t rely on this tenuous connection I felt with Wes. It was too new and too unstable. I had to distance myself from him. The magical world was in upheaval, something sinister was going on, and I had my own magical issues to work out. Once all that was sorted, then the two of us could see if we still had a connection. Until then, it was better if we remained apart.

  With my mind made up, I focused my attention on the bowl in front of me. My inbox was starting to pile up now that my boss knew I was back at work. Normally, the stack of assignments would have bothered me. I would have pushed myself to clear them. Even though I was sure more than a few of those assignments had something to do with the problem going on, I ignored them. I didn’t even feel guilty. My health and wellbeing were at stake. No one could fault me for trying to find an answer to that first. Only when I was in top form could I help the magical world.

  Scrying for an abstract concept was always much harder than looking for a concrete artifact or person. Only a few could do it with any accuracy. Being Beholde
n, having spent the better part of the last sixteen years practicing little else, I could do it. It was a time- and talent-intensive undertaking, but I was up to the challenge. I didn’t have a choice.

  I concentrated, firmly fixing my objective in my mind. I knew what I wanted. I had to find the answer for my constantly draining powers. Once I had the right thought in mind, I focused on nothing else, letting it sear itself into my brain. Then I gathered my will and magic, tied it together with the thought, and pushed it into the bowl. The water gave a slight ripple. I pushed more power into it, knowing what should happen, knowing that any moment the picture would resolve before my eyes and I’d have my answers.

  The water remained completely blank.

  With a gasp, I broke the connection with the magic, drawing it in until I closed the spell. Sagging in my chair, I panted heavily. Shock suffused every part of me. I couldn’t believe it. I’d used everything I had, and I hadn’t been able to see a single thing. That wasn’t right. It wasn’t normal. It had never happened to me before. Not even the first time I’d tried scrying. Had whatever was messing with me actually taken my abilities?

  Panicked, I scrambled to sit upright. I gathered my magic and summoned a picture of my sister in my head. Pushing it at the water, it took only seconds for the image to clearly show in the bowl. My sister was at lunch with a rather unattractive man, and she was giving her fake laugh. The one she used when she thought the other person was dull but wanted them to think she was amused. Very few people could tell the difference. She was good at faking it.

  I closed the spell and tried another. Wes suddenly appeared before me, hunched over his desk, scratching away at a yellow legal pad. His handwriting was atrocious. I could barely make out the squiggles he called penmanship. A fond smile crossed my lips, then I shook my head at my foolishness. I released the magic and slumped back in the chair. I wasn’t supposed to be thinking about Wes. But at least I knew I hadn’t lost my talent. I was still able to scry.

  I felt drained. I had tried so hard with that first spell, it seemed I’d been working for days instead of less than an hour. Had I the energy, and didn’t love my bowl so much, I would have chucked it against the wall in frustration. What was happening to me?

  The knock at the door scared the crap out of me. I really should be used to it by now. When Wes called my name, his voice concerned, I moved as fast as possible to get to the door and release the wards.

  He pushed his way in. He took one look at me, then gathered me into his arms. Gods, he felt warm.

  “You said two hours,” I mumbled.

  “It’s been two and a half,” he muttered back. I could tell he’d been worried. I heard it underneath his words. It pleased me to hear it, while at the same time, I felt sorry for making him nervous. Why couldn’t I get him out of my head?

  “Too fast,” I whispered, mostly to myself.

  He gave a small laugh and tucked my face into the crook of his neck. He dropped a kiss on my temple. “Maybe for you. Don’t worry. You’ll get there.”

  I didn’t have the energy to argue.

  Chapter 7

  Wes checked on me periodically throughout the day. He seemed to have a knack of showing up just when my energy and magic started to wane. I didn’t go looking for the reason why I had magical issues again. I didn’t have the energy, and I knew it pointless to try when I wasn’t at full capacity. Maybe in a few days it would get better, or at least I’d be less drained and could try again.

  I finished my latest assignment and packed up my office with minutes to spare. Wes had told me he’d be back at six o’clock sharp to end the day. I knew I’d never make it home without a boost from him, so I was ready and waiting. For the first time in what seemed like ages, the knock on the door didn’t make me jump. I shoved the last handful of peanuts in my mouth and chewed rapidly as I paced to the door. A whispered word, a flick of the lock, and I let him in.

  He looked tired, and I wondered what he’d been doing all day. I frowned, realizing I hadn’t asked. The frown grew deeper when I wondered if I even could. The truth was, I had no idea what his job entailed. Other than the superficial information that he investigated reports of magical misconduct, that is.

  “You okay?” Wes asked, interrupting my thoughts. I jerked my gaze to his and saw the concern. I tried to paste on a smile but wasn’t entirely sure of my success.

  “Yeah, I’m good. Just tired,” I responded.

  He nodded and reached out a hand. “Ready to go?”

  I didn’t take what he offered. Instead, I said, “I am. If you could give me a little energy boost so I can get home, I’d appreciate it.”

  For a long moment, Wes said nothing, his face an impassive mask. I waited, practically holding my breath. Eventually, he dropped his hand. I breathed a sigh of relief that he didn’t force the issue.

  I should have known it was too good to be true.

  With a deliberate step, Wes crowded me. I didn’t have anywhere to go—my ass bumped against the desk—and when I tried to step sideways, his arms caged me in. For a split second, I panicked. But then my brain caught up and realized he wasn’t restraining me, just gently keeping me in place.

  “I’d rather you went home with me.” His voice was low, deeper than usual, and if we’d been in bed when I heard it, I would have whimpered. I had to shore up my backbone in order to respond in a normal tone.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  He frowned, deep grooves appearing at the side of his mouth. “Why not?”

  I sighed heavily, and a bit dramatically, before I answered. “Because of the ‘monkey sex.’ I told you, I’m not that guy.” I gave that a second’s thought, then added the qualifier, “Usually.”

  “And I told you, it’s not just about the sex.” His tone was practical and no-nonsense.

  “Wes, I—” I had to stop and push him back. His nearness caused my brain to misfire. “I get that you think so, but I’m not there yet. And I—”

  “Stop,” he commanded softly, cutting me off. “I know you aren’t. I have every confidence you will get there. But how are you going to if you don’t get to know me?”

  Damn him for using logic. He was right, of course. Not that I’d admit that out loud. “Still, it’s probably better if I go to my own place tonight.”

  “Okay, listen, Julian,” he said conversationally. He took my hand so I couldn’t move away, then leaned one hip against the desk next to me. “I’m going to be honest and say that I don’t like the idea of you being vulnerable, with your magic depleting, at home by yourself tonight. So this is what I’m offering—come home with me, let me cook you dinner, stay the night. I’d prefer it was in my bed, but I have a guestroom if you’ll be more comfortable there.”

  I stared at him, trying to assimilate this information. Could I trust him? I thought I could. My gut said I already did. I wasn’t sure why or how that had happened exactly, but I didn’t really want to examine it too closely. My instincts were almost always right, and I rarely second-guessed myself.

  “All right. I’ll agree to dinner. But you don’t have to cook. We can go somewhere and grab a bite.”

  Wes shrugged one big shoulder. “I like to cook. It’s no trouble to make enough for two.”

  I studied him a long moment. “Okay.”

  His face suddenly lit with that grin that made my heart speed up. Damn him again. He held out his hand, and this time I took it. He relieved me of my satchel, slinging it over his shoulder, and led me out the door. He was patient as I sealed the wards.

  “What do you want me to make you?” he asked pleasantly as we ambled toward the parking lot. I had insisted on driving in this morning, even though Wes could’ve transported us both, and I liked that he hadn’t even tried to persuade me not to take my car.

  “Peanut butter and jelly,” I answered.

  He choked on a laugh. “Excuse me?”

  I shrugged and smiled. “I like peanut butter. A lot.” It was the truth. It was a
lso an easy, no muss, no fuss kind of dinner. It would satisfy me and keep him from having to do too much work.

  Wes shot me an indulgent smile. He lifted our joined hands and brushed a kiss across the back of my knuckles. “I’ll keep that in mind. But how about tonight you let me impress you a little?”

  Since I felt melty inside, I agreed. And then I didn’t protest when he asked if he could drive. I just handed over the keys. He made sure I was seated comfortably before he closed the door, then walked around to the driver’s side. I couldn’t stop my gaze from tracking him.

  The drive to Wes’s place was quicker than I expected. I was just starting to get nervous about the silence between us when he took the turn into Franklin Square. I shot him a curious look, wondering if he was using a short cut. But after another quick turn, he pulled into a parking lot. My jaw dropped, shock and surprise swirling in my gut. Franklin Square was filled with reclaimed factories and industrial buildings, the space being revamped in recent years to house high-end condos, lofts, and apartments. When I’d first moved to Syracuse, the area was just starting to get popular. I’d taken a tour of one of the lofts, and had fallen in love. Until the manager of the complex told me the monthly rent. Two thousand dollars a month might not seem like a big deal to some people, but to me it was a fortune. Especially when I couldn’t get any equity out of it.

  Wes exited the car, then was at my door with his hand out just as I managed to get it open. Wide-eyed, I looked around, impressed by the stateliness of the old brick building. After a quick walk to the glass front door, Wes used a key to open it, then shut it securely behind us before he turned toward a bank of elevators. I froze in my tracks, and Wes stopped when he realized I wasn’t walking beside him. He quirked a brow at me in question.

  I gave a sheepish shrug. “Are there stairs?” My cheeks heated.

  He nodded. “But it’s five flights.”

  For a long moment, I weighed if I had enough energy to make it up five long flights against my utter dislike of small enclosed spaces that could get stuck between floors and trap me. I didn’t completely trust the electronics with my magic either. I gave an involuntary shudder. With Wes keeping skin contact with me, I’d be tired when I reached the top, but I could do it.