Something Like Trust Page 9

  “He sounds like he’s teasing, but that’s not what it’s about,” I said carefully, trying to put it into words. “It’s his way of honoring my service, and showing that he respects the sacrifices I’ve made. First to my family for the Corps, then to the Corps for my family.”

  Brandon was silent for the few minutes it took me to soap my hair and body, and then to rinse it all away. I’d shut off the water and was reaching for a towel before he spoke.

  “That’s really nice.”

  I paused in the act of drying and let that sink in. “Yeah, it is.” I wrapped the towel around my waist and stepped out of the stall. Brandon’s eyes went dark, and I started to get hard at the look. I put on a stern expression. “Go. Now. Before I do something that will really make us late for dinner.”

  Brandon swallowed audibly, and he didn’t take his gaze off my chest. “Yes, sir.”

  “Not helping, Brandon. Go.” I put as much command as I could in that last part, and his entire body snapped to attention as his gaze dropped to the ground.

  “Yes, sir.” This time he sounded contrite and he moved. But he did take a second glance over his shoulder at me. I gave him a smile full of promise and he whined just a little as he left the bathroom.

  Not ten minutes later I was dressed and in the kitchen, listening to Audra prattle on about the roommate she hated and the classes she didn’t while Zane served us generous portions of his delicious-looking casserole. But all the while, I kept stealing glances at Brandon. That promise had been for both of us.

  Chapter 10

  It was Tuesday, and because I’d worked the last ten days straight, I actually had it off. It wasn’t that cold, and no snow had fallen, so I decided to take advantage of the nice day and run outdoors. By the time I got back, I’d sweated through my long-sleeved shirt.

  Brandon was lounging on the couch, his hair still damp from the shower. He’d been waiting for me, it seemed, because he tossed me an unopened bottle of water the instant I appeared. I gave him a grateful smile as I twisted off the cap and drank it down. But when I tried to convey my gratitude with a kiss, he shoved me away.

  “Ew. I’m all clean and you’re gross. Get away from me.”

  His laugh was a wonderful sound and I managed to steal a kiss anyway. Brandon chortled and slapped at me, and I had to laugh in return before heading for that shower.

  I hardly ever lingered under the water. It was ingrained too deeply not to waste, and I could be efficient with the soap and cloth. It took me less than ten minutes to get clean, dressed, and back into the living room. But in that time, something must have happened. Because instead of the happy, relaxed lover I had left, Brandon was staring at the far wall, his entire body tense. My heart dropped into my stomach, and I quickly crossed the floor. I sank down next to him on the couch.

  “Brandon?” I asked, keeping my voice soft. “What’s the matter, sweetheart?”

  “Nothing,” was his immediate automatic response. Then he winced, and glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. “Sorry. Yeah. Okay.”

  I was pleased that he caught himself, because he knew I wanted the absolute truth from him at all times. So I didn’t push, I didn’t insist. I just sat there, rubbing his back, and waited patiently for him to get his thoughts in order. Eventually, he blew out a breath and listed sideways into me. I leaned against the back of the couch, taking him with me and keeping him close. He sighed.

  “Casper just called.” Brandon’s voice was low and resigned. It made my gut clench, but I kept it from showing. “He’s getting pressure for an answer, and so in turn, he’s pressuring me.”

  “An answer to what?” I asked when I was sure he wasn’t going to elaborate.

  “A new mini-series for Starz. They’re calling it Robber Barons. Turn-of-the-century America, a fictionalized and sensationalized version of the families who had incredible wealth. They asked for me, Jared. They want me, and not just to play some psychotic killer.”

  The way his tone lifted at the end, I knew right then that he wanted this part. But something was holding him back and I needed to figure out what it was in order to help him. “So what part do they want you to play?”

  Brandon’s face lit with a soft, tentative grin. “Edward Howland, second son of oil tycoon Joseph Howland the third. The son who doesn’t fall into line with his father’s wishes, who does what he believes is morally right, and who, under the cover of darkness, indulges in his passion for men. And he keeps it a secret only because it’s illegal, not because he believes there is anything wrong with it.”

  The more he spoke, the more excited he got. And I knew, without a doubt, that he needed to take this part. I cut right to the heart of the matter. “So what’s keeping you from just saying yes?”

  Brandon went still. “I’d have to leave you. I’d be gone for several months.”

  Ah. Of course. I pulled him in, squeezing him until he had to exhale. Only when I loosened my hold could he draw breath again, and just those few seconds of him giving up that power to me was enough to help him feel more centered.

  “If you t-tell me to stay, I’ll tell them n-n-no.”

  I shook my head. “You have to take this part.”

  He deflated, and I saw the moment of sadness in his eyes before he averted his gaze. “Yeah. Okay.”

  “Hey,” I said, demanding his attention once more. This time, when he wouldn’t look at me, I lifted his face and made him focus on me before I continued. “You want this part, right?”

  “Yes, sir,” he said softly.

  “And it’s an unbelievably good opportunity, right?”

  A slight nod from him before he said, “Yes, sir.”

  “So why wouldn’t you take the role?” I stared at him, but I knew he wouldn’t answer me. So I blew out a breath, then leaned my forehead against his. “Yes, I’d love for you to stay here with me. But you have to make your living, and this is a role you can’t pass up.”

  Brandon nodded again, and he lowered his eyelashes until he was looking down. “Yes, sir.”

  I settled myself more firmly into the cushions, then I tugged and manhandled Brandon until he was in my lap with his face tucked into my neck. I rubbed his back, and placed a kiss on his forehead.

  “Look, sweetheart, the way I see it is this is the kind of role you have been waiting for. A chance to really stretch your acting muscles and show the world exactly what you’ve got. Maybe add another statue to your mantle?” I added playfully, and Brandon gave me the courtesy of a small laugh. I sighed. “You’re going to get breaks during filming, right? And you’ll be allowed to make phone calls. It’s not like you’re going to prison.”

  Brandon really did laugh at that, his body relaxing even more against mine. “Yeah, I can make all the phone calls I want. And I’m sure there will be days I have off where I’ll get a break.”

  “Good. So you call me whenever you need me. Come visit when you can. Or it’s possible I might be able to go to where you are. You’ll be gone only a few months before you can come home to me. We can make it work in the meantime.”

  Brandon’s entire body went taut, and he pushed himself up so that he could see my eyes. He searched intently, his blue gaze thoroughly inspecting my face. I let him look his fill so that he could see I was utterly and completely sincere.

  “You mean it,” he finally breathed.

  “I do. I don’t know where this thing between us is going to end up, but I do know that I want to see where it leads. I don’t want to let you go at all, and I’m going to worry the entire time you’re gone. But I don’t want to hold you back either. So you go, you make some fantastic entertainment. And then, when you’re done, you come back to me. Simple as that.”

  Brandon’s breath caught, then he grinned. He threw himself at me, hugging me tightly. “The only thing that could make this better is if you could come with me.”

  “You can’t afford me,” I teased, fully expecting the punch to the arm. I laughed and grabbed him, wrestling him un
til I had him pinned beneath me. It was one of his favorite places to be, and he relaxed completely against the soft fabric of the couch. With the trust and affection shining from his eyes, I felt the need to point out something else.

  “You know I could get called up at any time, right? I haven’t mustered out, Brandon. And now that the kids are grown and I’m no longer their sole guardian, the Corps might not be so nice. If they have need of me, I will get returned to active duty.”

  “I know.” Brandon shuddered. “But I don’t want to think about it. When and if it happens, that’s when I’ll worry. But for now, I can’t think about it.”

  “All right,” I agreed. “As long as you know it’s a possibility and you go into this relationship fully aware.”

  He nodded fast. “I am. I’m aware. Is that what we have now? A relationship?”

  I gave him a critical look. “That’s what we’ve always had. From the very beginning.”

  He nodded again, a look of contentment crossing his features. He sighed and settled even further. I could have let go of him, and he’d have stayed exactly where I put him. Sometimes that came in handy. But right now, I wasn’t thinking of any of those games we could play. All I wanted was to fuck him slow and gentle. I wanted to show him, in no uncertain terms, how much I was beginning to care for him. Without a word, I stood, and with a tug, I had him off the couch and in my arms. When I pointed him toward the bedroom, a sweet smile stretched his mouth. It was what we both wanted.

  * * * *

  It was harder to let Brandon go this time, knowing he was still mine. After he said yes to Starz, things happened very quickly. He spent Christmas in L.A. with his brother and brother-in-law, then came back for New Year’s with me and the kids. But on the third of January, he flew to Vancouver where he would make his home for the next three months.

  I missed him fiercely, even more so than the last time I’d let him go. At least this time, we talked regularly. Just hearing his voice soothed something inside me. I knew my voice did the same for him. Long distance sucked, and it would have been better for us both if we were together. But I was a Marine, I made do.

  Things were going well for him on set, and it made me happy to hear it. Brandon spoke of several of his fellow cast members with great affection, and I liked that he was getting along with them. Most of the time, I didn’t hear any of the stress in his tone that would cause me to worry. And on the rare occasions that I did, he was calling with a specific request for help. Brandon’s submissive personality bled over into every aspect of his life. I was more than happy to help him stay centered.

  My favorite times were when he called late at night from the safety of his hotel room because it invariably led to phone sex. My boy sounded beautiful in the throes of passion, and even if I wasn’t physically there, I was the cause of it. He might be using his own hands, but it was my voice that made him go over. It wasn’t ideal, but it would tide us over until we could be together again.

  I still got alerts whenever Brandon’s name appeared on the Internet, and by all accounts, filming was going well. There was a lot of buzz surrounding the show, and it was already getting critical acclaim as a “dark, gritty portrayal of the wealth and privilege of America’s robber barons.” Brandon was photographed in turn-of-the-century apparel, and I had to admit that he looked stunning in a frock coat. I was glad to know he was doing well, but I was still counting down the days until he could come for a visit. The last time we talked, it looked like it would be several weeks before he could make the trip. When I offered to fly out to him, his refusal sounded sad.

  “I’d love to see you. God, you have no idea how much I want that. But it’s easier for me to fly back home to you then it would be for you to fly into Canada. Besides, if you came here I’d be working the whole time, and how boring is that for you?”

  I laughed. “And how is that any different than if you came to see me?”

  The noise he made was hard to interpret. “Yeah, but I’d be in your house waiting for you and that would make everything worth it.”

  I had to concede that he had a point.

  So we talked and I worried. He reassured me and I helped him settle. Less than ideal, but it was working and it was only temporary. So when Brandon showed up at my door one night, soaking wet from the pouring rain and clutching his carryon bag like a lifeline, I was shocked to see him. So much so, for a minute I stood there gaping.

  “You s-s-said I could c-come.” I didn’t know if the stutter was from nerves or from the cold. “You s-s-said.”

  “Yes, sweetheart,” I responded, pulling him inside. I took his face in my hands and kissed him. Long and hard and deep so there was no mistaking how much I wanted him there. Brandon relaxed, but shivered even harder. I stripped him right there in the entryway, unwilling to track water all over my house, then picked him up and carried him to the shower. I barely waited for the water to heat before I nudged him under the spray. By the time I joined him two minutes later, his shivering had subsided and the water was inching toward boiling. I eased back on the heat, then pulled him into my arms.

  “N-needed this,” he murmured. “So b-b-badly. I finally told the director I n-needed a couple of days. It was last minute, so I just jumped on a plane.”

  I kissed him. “I will tell you that you are welcome as many times as you need to hear it. I promise.”

  “Thank you, sir.”

  Once he stopped shaking completely, I ushered him out of the stall and toweled him dry. I was less careful with my own body and did the bare minimum to wipe off the excess water before tossing the towel in the hamper. When we got back to my room, Brandon made a beeline for his bag and clean clothes. But I had other ideas. Brandon was on board once he realized I wanted us both naked under the covers.

  He plastered his body to mine, and notched his head under my chin. For a few minutes, all I could do was feel. It had been weeks since I’d been able to touch him, and I took full advantage of the opportunity. Brandon wiggled and sighed, everything about him relaxing as he let the tension go. I kissed his temple, his cheek, and his nose. He lifted for my kiss, but when I didn’t bestow it, he blinked his eyes open.

  “I thought things were going well?” I posed it as a question because if I found out he’d been lying to me, he wasn’t going to like the consequences.

  His face lit up, and he gave a contended hum as he got closer. “Oh, they are! Everyone is really nice, and we’ve been working really well together. It’s made things fairly smooth.” He paused, considering, then shook his head with a rueful smile. “Well, as smooth as this sort of thing can ever go. But yeah, it’s one of the better shoots I’ve ever been on. And the dailies have been amazing! It’s going to be a cinematic masterpiece. I won’t be surprised when our director wins all the awards.”

  I loved hearing him speak with such passion, and we’d get back to that in a moment. But first, I needed to know what had him so upset that he’d asked for days off when I damn well knew that wasn’t in his nature. “So what’s going on? I’m happy to see you, and I’m glad you could come. I missed the fuck out of you. But I need to know what pushed you so far that you came running to me.”

  Brandon went quiet for a long moment, and when he spoke, he kept his voice soft. “I don’t think it was any one thing. Just…a lot of little things. I like acting and I’m good at it, but I really should give it up. I am not cut out for all the behind-the-scenes stuff.”

  “Yeah, you are,” I said firmly. I rolled my body so I had him half-trapped beneath me, and watched that sense of peace wash over him. I had him, he knew it, and he trusted me to take care of it. “You just need a little help from time to time. It takes a strong man to ask for it.”

  Brandon searched my face. “I asked for it. I came here so you could help me.” His voice was barely more than a whisper.

  “You did. Do you think that deserves a reward?”

  I loved watching his pupils blow with lust. He licked his lips. “Yes, sir.”

>   I lowered my head until my lips were a fraction of an inch from his. “And what would you have as a reward, angel?”

  His entire body shuddered. “Lick me.”

  Oh, he was feeling that tonight, was he? I was more than happy to oblige. But I wouldn’t give it to him easily. I loved to hear him whine and beg, but before we got to that, I wanted to hear him talk dirty. “Lick you? Where?”

  He blushed dark. “You know where.”

  “No. No, I don’t think I do. You better tell me where you want me to lick you.”

  He took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and gave me exactly what I wanted. “Lick my hole. I want your tongue in me. I want you to make me beg with your mouth on my ass.”

  I moved fast, rolling him onto his front, spreading his cheeks, and diving in. There was no preamble, no foreplay. What he wanted was for me to devour him, and that’s exactly what I did. I licked and sucked, nibbled and kissed. I swiped my tongue from his balls to the top of his crack, working my tongue around the wrinkled pucker and making him whine. He tried to push up onto his knees, but I kept him pinned. I had him right where I wanted him.

  His body softened to me until I could jab my tongue inside. The keening moan he let loose told me that was exactly what he wanted. I let my spit dribble out, and used a finger to spread it around liberally. It wasn’t enough to act as lube, but for what I had in mind, it would be fine. I slid my finger into his hole, licking around the digit as I pushed it in deep. Deep enough that I could feel his gland.

  I pressed hard against it, even as I kept licking and kissing, and that was all it took to send him over the edge. He buried his face in the pillow and screamed, even as he thrust his hips against the mattress, then back onto my finger. A moment later, the spasm in his ass let me know he had come, and the continued stimulation of my finger was enough to almost have him trying to escape.